malah jadi curhat di sini, nowhere else to go... :)
asal inget debat pasti memori waktu debat itu seenaknya aja sliwer-sliwer di otak gue... and like one quote says, "we don't remember times, we remember moments" dan ya, gue sedang mengingat itu semua..
how come?
ini semua berawal dari akan diadakannya lomba debat di sekolah gue, untuk satu karesidenan kedu... hari ini, mesti ngelatih adik kelas buat demo debat waktu technical meeting.. itulah, setiap inget debat, gue selalu kayak begini... those memories, unforgettable..
memori waktu debat itu, nyambung aja gitu sampe sekarang... ga bisa lupa, no matter how hard I've tried...
from the first time, it has always been my fault.. so if I'm hurt, it's my own fault... I choose to hurt myself, but everything seems like it's "somebody else's" fault, "his" fault.. but how am I supposed to blame him? he doesn't even know what I'm doing.. I've realized that.. but again, every second I spend on debate, on watching people debating, those memories come from the darkest part of my mind, from the place where I keep all I-don't-wanna-remember memories.. and they don't get away as fast as they come, they're running around my mind and refuse to give me a little break to mend my own heart... they tear me to pieces as if they are the sharpest sword ever made by my mind.. they tear me and don't bring anything to put me as one again.. and right after, they leave me to pieces and I am the one who have to struggle, to pick all the pieces...
yeah, like one quote from Jennifer Aniston
-the greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain-this is definitely true, and I've been through some... :) and I can't agree more to the quote from William Shakespeare
-love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares-so yeah, love brings you happiness but somehow it tears you apart little by little...
what my heart feels,
-catherine agraputri-
0 comments:
Post a Comment